How Debra and I Have Benefited from Couples Sangha: A Personal Story

Ever since Debra and I were married 1981, we have participated in many different couples sanghas. We understood that without support of other couples, it would be difficult to liberate ourselves from our conditioning, and become freer, happier people.

We learned

how couples on the path can resolve issues of anger and conflict

how to use mindfulness to free ourselves from stressful communication patterns

how much joy and freedom are innate within us.

The Three Jewels of Buddhism

When I began to study Buddhism in the 1980’s, I quickly realized that faith had as many lists as Catholicism, the religion I grew up in. And like a lot of the Catholic lists, I couldn’t always understand their value.

But I grew to love the teachings on the Three Jewels, as they are readily applicable to regular people in their relationships and in everyday situations.

Four Tools To Create Trust and Reduce Anxiety In Your Relationship

A student sent me a thoughtful letter about how she is working with anxiety in her marriage. This article contains the letter and my response, which focuses on the natural fear that can arise as we get closer to our partner, and how we can use awareness and vulnerable speech to build trust. Read the article.

Divisive Language, Healing Language: The List

The key learning in this list is simple: you can watch how divisive language escalates tension. You can feel the difference.

Healing language creates openings in the body and the heart. Watch for them! Read the article.

Create the Positive Spiral of Love: Three Key Practices

When couples call me, they are usually wonder if they can restore feelings of joy and intimacy they felt earlier in the relationship.. Simple exercises can create a positive experience spiral of feelings like warmth, patience, forgiveness and love. Read the article.

What You Should Expect From Couples Counseling

Couples counseling should help you resolve your conflicts with teachable, practical tools, so that you can feel the heart of the relationship again. Read the article.

Better Communication with Your Partner: Basic Tools

This article suggests a new approach to communication, an approach that leads to love and hope. New ways of communication are described, with client examples. Read the article.

Healing Power Struggles. Creating More Joy and Collaboration

Most couples have subtle conflicts about who gets their way, or who will be in charge. Power struggles can turn into opportunities for creativity and collaboration. This article tells you how. Read the article.

How Intentions Can Benefit Couples

Intentions are the key to creating observable growth in the relationship. Example; “I’m willing to create a safe loving relationship with you.” Read the article.

Refresh Your Relationship: Bring Back the Emotional Intimacy

You can restore the vitality and intimacy in your relationship, using mindfulness and vulnerable, authentic communication. Read the article.

Stop Leading Parallel Lives: Feel the Love Again

At the beginning of most relationships, the romantic feeling is alive. But time passes and we drift away from our partner. But simple exercises and communication tools can create new levels of love, openness and connection. Read the article.