Ever since Debra and I were married 1981, we have participated in many different couples sanghas. We understood that without support of other couples, it would be difficult to liberate ourselves from our conditioning, and become freer, happier people.
how couples on the path can resolve issues of anger and conflict
how to use mindfulness to free ourselves from stressful communication patterns
how much joy and freedom are innate within us.
Debra and I were great in Phase one of our relationship, the first few years! Everything was perfect. We were in love. Nothing could go wrong.
Note to Reader: Phase One doesn’t last!
Over time, the flaws in our communication styles and in our ‘perfect’ personalities began to emerge.
For example, as a result of my family training, I had a hard time stating what I needed or felt, for fear of inciting anger.
In community with other couples who were trying to heal, I learned how they dealt with disagreement. I became aware that my desire to avoid conflict could result in feelings of depression and powerlessness, and to outbursts of anger towards Debra or others.
I learned how to express my needs and fears more openly, and I became much happier in the relationship as a result.
The couples sangha, maybe most importantly, helped me open to the depths of love and care that I have for Debra. I see how dedicated she is to her own healing, and to me.
After 41 years of marriage, we are both deepening into states of openness, joy and devotion. Our participation in couples sanghas has been instrumental in this growth.